Faith-Part 22

"FAITH OF THE HEART"
An "Enterprise" story
By Alison M. DOBELL

RATING: PG-13.
ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.
FEEDBACK: Welcomed
EMAIL: AlisonMDobell@aol.com
SERIES/SEQUEL: Part 22
WEBSITE: http://www.carlajane.50megs.com/Ali00.html

SUMMARY": "When members of the crew go suddenly missing, Captain Archer finds the only witness is unable to tell them anything. Lieutenant Reed takes it upon himself to turn detective."
DISCLAIMER: The characters and 'Enterprise' belong to Paramount. No
infringement of copyright is intended.

Part 22

* * * * *

Sub-Commander T'Pol had already excused herself and gone to take up her
shift on the bridge. Captain Archer lingered. Watching Commander Tucker
cleared his third plate. He had already finished his own breakfast in the
Captain's dining room and relished the opportunity to have a few minutes
alone with his long time friend. Amusement skating over his handsome face as
he watched the breathless way his friend was eating. As if he had to rush or
he would miss his train.

"What's the hurry?"

Trip cleared his plate before responding. Smacking his lips with
satisfaction as he pushed the plate away. "Have'ta get to engineerin'. We
took a lot of damage so don't expect me to join ya on the bridge for some
time."

His friend's amusement turned to light concern. "Are you sure you're ready for this, Trip?"

He looked up. Eyes steady as they looked to the Captain's deeper unspoken concern. "I'm okay, Cap'n, an' so is T'Pol. We won't let ya down."

A moment's discomfort was papered over with humour. "You haven't been
eating..."

"Yes, I have."

The Captain allowed a smile to take the sting out of it. "Slices of pecan pie don't count." He said, pointing at the three empty plates. "I mean *real* food."

"It *is* real food and don't let my stomach hear ya talkin' or it'll think its throat's cut."

Captain Archer placed his forearms on the table and leaned towards his Chief Engineer. "You need proper food, Trip. Sustenance. Right now you're surviving on a diet of sugar."

Trip grinned and deliberately flashed his teeth. "Still got all ma teeth, Jon." He closed his mouth then gave him a gentle smile. "Stop fussin', I'm okay. How 'bout you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah." The Commander paused. "I know I put ya in a terrible position and I'm not proud of that but I can't say I'm sorry the way it's turned out either." He paused, a smile of joy lighting up his face and fascinating the Captain. He could not take his eyes off his friend. "I love T'Pol so much..." His voice trailed off, tinged with wonder. "Who'd'a thought I could feel this way about a Vulcan?"

His quiet chuckle stirred a smile on Captain Archer's lips but his heart
had a shadow of sadness crouching in the corner where it hoped to remain
hidden. Trip had known him too long to miss the signs as subtle as they
were.

"But that's not what's botherin' ya, is it?" He said gently.

The Captain swallowed slowly. He needed this talk. Craved the opportunity to clear the air between them but he did not want to make things worse. Awkward between them. The man sharing his table with him right now was the most important person in the world to him. No matter that the world
he was talking about was light years away. No matter that stars danced
beneath their feet and the maw of eternity greeted their excited clamour to
explore space. A playground big enough to cater for the biggest ego. A plain truth stood in his mind and was made flesh before him. He would not have come without this man. As much as he wanted to fulfill his father's dream it would have been a hollow victory without Trip. His dearest and closest friend. More than a brother to him. All the family he had left was sitting right there wiping the residue of pie off his face. He loved this man so much. Cared for him so deeply. Sometimes it affected his judgment. But not nearly so often or as devastatingly as it affected his heart. He was happy that Trip had found love. That he could share a deep abiding happiness with the Sub-Commander. No. What troubled him went deeper than that and had more to do with himself than Trip. The man was simply the focus. The pivotal mover in the drama that was his life.

"I was frightened, Trip." He confessed quietly.

His friend just nodded gently and waited, eyes locked on his. Content to let the Captain take his time.

"All I could see and feel was a sense of loss. It was as if the deck beneath my feet was crumbling and I was falling. I thought I was losing you."

"I told ya before, I'm not goin' anywhere."

He nodded. "I know but it doesn't take away the fear."

For a moment Trip sifted silently through his own thoughts. Regarding the man he regarded as his ultimate friend. A man he trusted beyond all others. "Are ya okay with me an' T'Pol bein' together, Jon?"

His words were arrows to the Captain's heart but they contained no poison. Once he accepted them for what they were he was relieved to find they left no pain. "Yes. I am now."

"Now?"

The Captain chuckled painfully. It hurt Trip to hear it but he kept silent. Knowing this was something that could not be rushed. "Would you
believe it was Dr. Phlox who made me see sense?"

The revelation surprised the Commander for only a moment. On reflection it made perfect sense. People tended to underestimate the Denobulan doctor. treating him like background furniture until his medical expertise was called upon. They tended to forget he was an expert in psychology as well as physical anatomy and xenobiology. That he had traveled to many worlds and studied in universities as far removed from his homeworld as it was possible to imagine. He had even spent years on the Vulcan homeworld studying their culture and practicing medicine. It was an accolade accorded to so few. The man was gifted on many levels yet his humility blinded them often to his consummate skill. His driving force was the passion to heal. His caring nature excluded no one from the benefit of his expertise. "No. He's put me right a time or too as well."

His friend's eyebrows rose slightly. "He has?"

"Yeah, but that still doesn't tell me what's botherin' ya right now. Or why I get the feelin' I'm talkin' to Humpty Dumpty *after* he fell off the wall."

The Captain gave him a little smile. The first step on the road back to normalcy. "Did he fall or was he pushed?"

Trip laughed and held his hands up as if surrendering. "Hey, it wasn't me!"

Captain Archer laughed and this time there was no trace of pain. The two friends lapsed into a companionable silence then the Captain said what was in
his mind. The one thing he had been bugging out over. The thing that left an aftertaste of guilt in his mouth when he thought of his friend. "I was jealous, Trip. Insanely, madly jealous. Not because I had designs on you but because I was afraid. Afraid that you would get so caught up in your passion for T'Pol that there would be no room left for me." His voice dropped to a low whisper. It was almost like being in a confessional. "I thought our friendship would become one of those facades you see so often among friends who have drifted apart yet use the word to perpetuate a fiction. I didn't want that, Trip. I didn't want to be on the outside of the circle looking in."

"An' ya won't be, Jon. I wouldn't allow it and neither would T'Pol. This mind meld we did? We can feel and touch each other's thoughts. I know it sounds kinda creepy but when ya love somebody it's the most beautiful thing in the world. No room for misunderstandin's, no attempt to score points off each other that can leave a lasting shadow of pain. 'Cause you're right in there with them, sharin' that heartbeat, feeling that joy and pain like it was your own. It *becomes* your own. So ya won't do anythin' to cause that pain. The burden of care isn't a burden, it's a joy. A shared experience more intimate than sex."

Captain Archer just stared at him. There was often great wisdom in Trip's little homilies. His southern drawl might make folks think he was a little slow on the uptake or just plain backward but it would be the most monumental mistake to label him with such an assumption. People that thought that way were simply airing their own ignorance not stating facts. A sharper mind and keener humour he had yet to find. A better friend never lived nor breathed. Even in the rarified atmosphere of Outer Space. "That's some assertion, Trip."

Trip smiled. "I remember a verse I heard once, can't for the life of me
remember who said it now - it'll probably come to me in the middle of a really awkward moment but here it is anyway: *They drew a circle that shut him out. Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But love and I had the wit to win. We drew a circle and took him in*." He noticed the tears in his friend's eyes. His voice was quiet, gentle, the southern drawl dragged out lightly softening his words. "I always kinda liked that verse."

The Captain nodded. They got to their feet as if by mutual consent. Captain Archer looked at Trip for a solid minute before speaking again. His heart lighter than it had been in weeks. "Thanks, Trip."

"What for?"

"For everything." A tear rolled down his face.

Trip raised a hand and gently brushed it away. "You're ma friend, Jon, and where I come from we keep our friends for life."

* * * * *

The doctor stopped outside the door. He carried a medical kit and hesitated just a fraction. He did not normally make house calls but relied
on his patients' common sense to come to him if they needed him and to call
him if they needed a more private consultation. Lieutenant Hess had done neither and he was worried about her. She had failed to answer his com calls so he had made the decision to come to her. There was a sense in his mind that this was the correct thing to do. It made him feel better about encroaching on her privacy in this fashion. He activated her door chime. There was no
response. He cleared his throat then called through the closed door, thinking she was not answering because she did not know who it was.

"Lieutenant Hess, it's Dr/ Phlox. Please open the door,"

Nothing. The silence disturbed him. Was she alright? Had she perhaps collapsed behind the door? He decided to com Engineering. He was happily surprised to be answered by Commander Tucker. "Engineering, Commander Tucker."

"Ah, Commander. I was hoping to speak to Lieutenant Hess. Is she there?"

The Commander's voice drifted off as he turned his head to look around. "Yeah, she's here somewhere. We're up to our ears in repairs, doc, was there somethin' specific ya needed her for?"

He shook his head even though the Commander would not be able to see it. He had a relieved smile on his face. "No, thank you. I will catch up with her later. How are you feeling, Commander?"

"Never felt better, doc." There was a slight pause. "Thanks for your help."

Dr. Phlox positively beamed. The Commander could hear his pleasure in his voice. "You're welcome, Commander."

"Have to go now, doc."

"I understand."

With a smile of satisfaction the doctor turned and made his way back to sickbay. Happy that for once his expertise did not appear to be needed. In
Engineering, Commander Tucker turned back to look at Lieutenant Hess who was standing by his right shoulder. He gave her a little quizzical frown. "Now, Anna. Would ya care to tell me why I just had to lie to the doc for ya? Ya could'a just answered the com for yourself."

She could not quite meet his eyes which was highly unusual for the gifted lieutenant. "It's personal if you don't mind, sir."

He huffed quietly and scratched the back of his head, using the momentary
delaying tactic to check how close the rest of his crew were. Fortunately with the hustle and bustle of working round the clock, no one was paying them
any attention. He looked at her through his lashes. "Lieutenant, ya know ya
can say anythin' to me and it'll stay between us. Is there somethin' I should know?"

A small hesitation was his only clue. "No, sir."

He noticed the dark circles under her eyes. The listlessness in her movements and hazarded a guess. "You're not sleepin' are ya?" He asked
quietly.

Her eyes rose and met his, burning like miniature suns. "How do you know
that?"

"Been there, done that." He paused. "Nightmares?"

She nodded. He sighed. Wished they weren't so damn busy. "Had them myself."

That surprised her. "Are you still having them, sir?"

He took a slow pause. "Sometimes." He broke off and made a decision. "Look, this isn't the time or place to discuss this but how about we talk
about it over a bite to eat once we finish up down here?"

"We have three days work at least to do."

"Workin' flat out we do, but I aim to stop for meals which means you'll take your meals too. Is that understood?"

A small smile broke through her armour. "Yes, sir."

Trip straightened and wiped the grime off his face on his uniform sleeve.
The smile he gave her was worth more than diamonds or gold. It lifted her
heart. Made her feel that maybe things weren't as bad as she feared. "C'mon, lieutenant, I hear there's a bust conduit that's got our names on it."

* * * * *

Lieutenant Reed was happy to note that the Captain seemed much more relaxed, jovial even, when he came back on to the bridge. He even nodded and smiled at the Sub-Commander. Travis relaxed, a smile spreading over his good natured face. Happy to have things drop back into the familiar routine
without everybody having to walk on eggshells. The Captain had a thought
that had been nagging at him for a while now. He glanced across at the Sub-Commander.

"Sub-Commander T'Pol, I'm curious about these Romulans."

He saw her stiffen. Her luminous dark eyes suddenly flat. As if the pupils would reflect no light. It was like someone flicking a switch. "Curious in what way, Captain?"

"You said before that the Vulcans have a shared ancestry with them."

"That is correct."

"What happened?"

"As I explained before over a century ago the Romulans broke away from
Vulcan tradition. Turned their backs on the teachings of Surak and embraced more violent means to achieve their goals. The pursuit of logic and control no longer satisfied them. They were more war-like, desired conquest. Wherever they went conflict ensued. Instead of feeling shame they reveled in their descent." A look of grave distaste warped her features. "They are barbaric. Aggressive. They cannot be trusted."

"Okay, I get that, but where did they go? I assume that the break with tradition was so divisive they could no longer live on the Vulcan homeworld?"

She looked surprised at his insight and inclined her head. "You are correct, Captain."

"Where did they go?"

"The Romulans did not colonise a single planet, Captain. The desire to conquer new worlds was like a compulsion they could not control. They wanted
to build an empire that would span galaxies."

"An empire?"

His voice sounded disturbed. The Sub-Commander nodded, pleased that he was taking the threat seriously. "Yes, Captain. The unprovoked attack earlier was clearly an act of war."

He looked at her in alarm. "While I agree that the attack was unprovoked Sub-Commander, I would remind you they broke off hostilities. We were
sitting ducks but instead of finishing us off they let us go."

"I would caution you Captain not to ascribe Human motives to Romulan actions. It could prove a mistake you will not survive."

He paused a heartbeat. Hardly daring to breathe. "*You* not *us*?"

The Sub-Commander did not blink. Her eyes locked on his. "I stand corrected. I meant us."

He wondered as she turned away from him whether she had made a mistake or whether it had in fact been a Freudian slip. Was the real *us* the Humans and the Vulcans or the Romulans and the Vulcans? He found that it disturbed him that he did not know the answer.

* * * * *

The damage was heavy but not extensive. The Commander was getting tired. With all the extra curricular activity he had been having with the Sub-Commander on top of his physical recovery, he found his level of stamina was not what it had been. Lt Hess noticed and frowned slightly as he wriggled deeper into a duct to get to another damaged section. "Sir, it's getting late and we've been at this for almost eleven hours."

He did not have room to turn around and see her face. She heard him grunt softly. "You go on ahead, I won't be long lieutenant."

"I'll wait for you, Commander."

She heard him swear softly under his breath then his exertions ceased. "Lieutenant, go and get something to eat then get some rest. *That's* an order!"

She hesitated.

"Lieutenant?"

Lieutenant Hess bit her lip and did something she would not normally do. She
told a direct lie. "I'd rather wait for you if you don't mind, sir. You promised we could talk."

That shook him. He sounded suitably contrite, all trace of irritation gone as he remembered his promise. "I'm sorry, lieutenant. I guess I forgot. Hold on, I'm coming right out."

She watched him wriggle out backwards and made room for him. As he turned to face her she could see how tired he was. His face drawn and pale.
Suddenly she was glad for the little white lie. She did not really want to talk about her nightmares but if it meant the Commander took the break he needed it was worth it. Nobody worked himself harder than the Chief Engineer. It was one of the many reasons why his staff were so devoted to him. Not that any of them would tell him that face to face. Instead they told him with their actions. Actions that made him damn proud of every last one of them.

* * * * *

Sub-Commander T'Pol knelt on the floor of her quarters. Freshly showered and now dressed in a meditation robe she stared at the candle. It was unlit. Her mind unfocused. Thoughts drifting through it like unquiet ghosts. She thought of the Captain's words. His insistence that the Romulans had broken off hostilities when they could have destroyed them. Why did that thought disturb her? Surely she should be glad that the Enterprise had been spared? Slowly she lit the candle and began to clear her mind. As she stilled the outside influences to find that calm centre she craved the answer floated up from her subconscious. Of course. That was what had rung a false note. Romulans showed no mercy so why did their attacker break off and allow the Enterprise to escape?

* * * * *

He listened to her in silence, absorbing every word. The mess hall was virtually deserted so she did not feel the anxiety she had been anticipating.
The Commander was a thoughtful and caring senior officer. While he demanded a high level of excellence from his people it was nothing less than he
expected of himself. That work ethic did not blind though to the needs of his people. Now that concern was focused on his second. When she finally wound down her story Lt Hess was surprised how relieved she felt to get it off her chest. Commander Tucker let out a very long slow breath.

"That's some nightmare." He said carefully. "Was it in colour?"

His question startled her. What the hell did it matter if it was in colour or not? "Sir?"

He raised a hand. "Bear with me, lieutenant, and just answer the question. Was the nightmare in colour?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, were you aware of anything specific in the nightmare that had the weight of a solid object?"

She was completely baffled now. "I don't understand what..."

Again the hand came up. Her mouth snapped quietly closed. Confusion in
her eyes. "Just trust me, okay?"

She nodded.

"Were you aware of being able to *touch* anything?"

She thought hard about the question, relived the nightmare in slow motion paying particular attention to what she did with her hands. The images stopped abruptly, she gave a little gasp. The Commander put a hand over
hers. She was shaking. "Yes, I could feel the cage."

"Cage?"

Her mouth had gone dry. Heartbeat erratic. She tried to calm down. His
hand on hers helped. "Yes, a weird hanging cage of some kind. It was metal
I think."

Something echoed in his own mind but it was all muzzy and he could make
no sense of it. Nothing as sharp as images but a growing sense of unease and dread. "What do you think happened to you, Anna?" He asked softly.

She looked at him for a long moment, tears forming slowly in her eyes. Saddened beyond measure her voice came out so quietly that he felt as if he was lip reading her words not hearing them. "I was raped!"

* * * * *

****************

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Three people have made comments

I'm running out of words to express my praise for your story. You've got a great writing style, and I'm so totally engrossed in this. I'm really glad you patched up the relationship between Trip and Jon. And do you know if Lt. Hess is really called Anna? I've wanted to put her in one of my stories and can't keep calling her "Lieutenant".
Anyway, well done, and keep it coming.

Kittytrypsin, I recall reading a couple of "Enterprise" fics a while back and the writer quoted Lt Hess's Christian name as Anna. I thought it suited her and have used it a couple of times since. Not sure if it is 100% accurate though. Thanks to everyone by the way for the kind comments. There is a whole ton of stuff still to come so do not say you have not been warned! And to answer a couple of earlier queries I have a number of other stories in my head so the wellspring will not run dry for quite a while. I will only stop writing when people stop wanting to read my stories. Ali D :~)

Great chapter! I used the name "Anna" in one of my stories, too. I have no clue if that's really her name but it sounded good!

I love the way you capture Trip and Jon in this chapter. Such a real friendship!

Thank you and as always, waiting patiently for more!